reframe means to frame again.
So, what are the two "re—" words | want to share with you?
The first of the words is resent. | was surprised to learn that
resent literally means to "feel again”. It derives from the Latin
sentire, meaning to "feel". When someone hurts, annoys or
criticises me, resenting the people or the situation is a natural
response. | become aggrieved. | talk about it. Before long, it
is "eating me up”. When | resent, | feel it again and again. It's
like having a wound and repeatedly pulling off the scab. The
wound never heals. It remains raw and causes me ongoing
pain. How do you respond when someone hurts, annoys or
criticises you?
The second word is respect. This word's etymology means
to "look at again”. It derives from the Latin word specere,
meaning "look at”. From this word, we get words like spec-
tacle. Respect is what Robert Adams demonstrated in his
photography. He used his camera lens to look repeatedly at
what was around him. And through such a process, he could
see a beauty that he would otherwise have missed.
In the biblical book of Numbers, chapter 21, we encounter
a story of the Israelites travelling south toward the Red Sea to
go around the land of Edom. They had pleaded for permission
to pass through the territory of the Edomites. "Please let us
pass through your country. We will not go through any field or
vineyard, or drink water from any well. We will travel along the
King's Highway and not turn to the right or to the left until we
have passed through your territory” (Numbers 20:17). Does
that sound like a fair request? Sure. Even so, the Edomites
refused and threatened war if the Israelites attempted the
crossing. The Israelites tried to negotiate, saying, "We will go
along the main road, and if we or our livestock drink any of
your water, we will pay for it. We only want to pass through
on foot—nothing else” (Numbers 20:19). The Edomite refusal
stood firm.
What did the Israelites do? They started resenting. They
became short-tempered, impatient and aggrieved. Their frus-
tration boiled over and they started attacking those nearest
them—Moses and God. "Why have you brought us up out of
Egypt to die in the wilderness? There is no bread! There is no
water! And we detest this miserable food!" (Numbers 21:5).
Whoa! What was this miserable food? The food they detested
was manna—the food God miraculously provided every morn-
ing to sustain them. Wow! Can you see what nursing resent-
ment does? lll feelings rage to the point where even the things
that should inspire thankfulness become a part of our problem.
Have you ever been in this place of resentment? | have. Sadly,
too many times to count!
The Israelites needed a reality check—and fast! In this story,
the reality check came from venomous snakes. These snakes
bit the people and many Israelites died. The people regained
their perspective about what was important and went to
Moses and said, "We sinned when we spoke out against God
and you. Pray to God; ask him to take these snakes from us”
(Numbers 21:7, The Message).
The solution was an interesting one. God told Moses,
"Make a snake and put it up on a pole; anyone who is bitten
can look at it and live” (Numbers 21:8). Could God be saying,
"Choose to respect rather than resent? Choose to look again
at your situation and see the blessings you receive daily rather
than marinate in your ill feelings and perceived injustices,
whether fair or not.”
Imagine if one of the Israelites had made a better choice
and, instead of resenting the Edomite’s response to their
request to shortcut through their land, looked at the situation
again and said, “That's disappointing, but hey, isn't it amazing
that no matter how much farther we need to walk, we get to
enjoy a good feed each day—and we don't even need to carry
it or grow it. Wow! Let's go!" Imagine if that idea had rippled
through the multitude!
This process of respecting—of looking again at a situation
to see things in a better way—seems to be a tricky thing to
master. Even the godly prophet Samuel had problems "look-
ing" at things the way God saw things. When Samuel was
grieving over the fate of King Saul, God gave him a significant
task. Samuel was sent to Jesse of Bethlehem to appoint one
of Jesse's sons as the new king. When Samuel saw Eliab, the
eldest son, he thought, Wow! Surely this is the new king!
But God told Samuel, "Looks aren't everything. Don't be
impressed with his looks and stature. I've already eliminated
him. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and
women look at the face; God looks into the heart” (1 Samuel
16:7, The Message). Isn't that interesting? God looks into the
heart—the part of us that represents the centre of our emo-
tions—positive and negative—destructive and transformational.
God discerns our struggles and inclinations and invites us to
engage with life and love. This is the challenge of respect—to
look again, to look in a new way, to look as God looks.
In our modern digital-based society, taking another look
often means doing a Google search. However, as handy as a
Google search can be, in some cases, the clever search filters
may end up saying more about who | am and what | already
believe rather than deliver worthwhile alternative perspectives.
"In Pariser’'s (2011) TED talk, he says that at first the inter-
net meant a connection to the world, something that brings
everyone together, yet it is doing the opposite.”
That seems to describe a movement away from respect
and potentially toward resentment as we each protect what
we believe is true based on what we hear in our personal or
tribal echo chambers.
As challenging as things may be in what we see around us,
| am heartened by the lives of those who choose to respect
rather than resent. One such person is the late Father Bob
McGuire. Radio personality John Safran said of Father Bob,
"He attracted all manner of outcasts, not all pleasant, but he
was open-hearted to those people too. | asked him how [he]
did this and he said, "You don't have to like people to love
them'."* That's respect! What will you choose more of today?
Respect or resentment?
This question is not an appeal to throw away emotions and
feelings in preference for an unfeeling clinical look. Feelings
alone can be blind, yet a look without feeling can be cruel.
Instead, this is an appeal to love—to see ourselves, others and
situations in a new way. Just as 45 degrees with a flat view
became 90 degrees with a three-dimensional view; perhaps
December 23, 2023 | Adventist Record 17